Thankyou PokerStars...

and very Merry Xmas to you too!!!! Bastards!

Today's results

Not long now...

I am about to go and curl up in a darkened room... could someone please call me when it's all over.

Thank you and goodnight!

Ninjas and...

- as Sid Waddell would say - Uundah-Stakkahs!!!

Now, I'm a bit embarrassed to admit it, but part of the reason for my inability to really press on and consistently make any money playing online poker has been my tendency to 'tilt-up' and blow my bankroll following a few bad-beats.

I have stumbled across the answer - Stacking.

It's so obvious really, why has it been kept secret from me all this time? For years I, along with many others, have been constantly striving for bigger, higher resolution screens in order to play more tables with little or no overlap... When all the time the answer was to stack them all on top of each other!

Enter six or more Sit 'n Gos... a table pops to the front when it's your go... make your decision and immediately the next table pops to the front... rinse, repeat. You never see your bad beats, you don't go on tilt - Simples!

OK, so where do the Ninjas come in? I hear you ask. Well, it seems there's something else they've been keeping from me; a piece of software called TableNinja. Though not essential to the stacking concept, it really helps with multi-tabling. I won't try to explain all it's functions here, but if you are serious about multi-tabling on Stars or Full Tilt you should definitely take a look.

Whilst I accept it is not a huge sample size, the following graph shows my results for 267 tournaments, since I started on Dec 3rd. As you can see it was all going pretty much sideways, I then discovered stacking and TableNinja after tournament number 180.

'To infinity and beyond!'

Still early days I know... many a slip twixt cup and $1.99 Margueritas in Vegas... but I now have a new found confidence, these 45-man SnGs are there for the taking.

This time next year Rodney; we'll be..........

Happy Xmas from The Witney (inc. Carterton) Mob...

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Vegas 2010, a plan evolves...

OK, Harrah's have published the final schedule for the 2010 WSOP... it has been studied, analysed and digested. The target bracelet this year will be Event #36 $1000 NLHE, a 4-day event with two day 1s, starting on Saturday June 19th. This event is expected to have a field of 5000 - 6000!

So, as it is a 4-day event the new plan is to hit Vegas a day or two later than originally planned...

xxx xxxx xxx - Depart UK, this date is variable and dependent upon success in the 45-man SnGs... if I can run to a flight it will be June 17th; it may be on a returning banana boat leaving Milford Haven on March 28th!

Thu 17th Jun - Arrive Las Vegas, stay up and play some poker til midnight (local time), fortunately the Binions 2am is no more so Rich won't be dragging me off there on the first night!!

Fri 18th Jun - This is my birthday, probably play a couple of crap-shooty, low buy-in tourneys somewhere... followed one or two cocktails!!

Sat 19th Jun - Yesterday was my birthday... in Las Vegas... Saturday? What Saturday?

Sun 20th Jun - Play Day 1B of Event #36
Mon 21st Jun - Play Day 2 of Event #36
Tue 22nd Jun - Play Day 3 of Event #36
Wed 23rd Jun - Win Final Table of Event #36... after presentation of bracelet and mucho wonga, The Witney (inc. Carterton Mob) will be partying!!!

Thu 24th Jun - Wed 23rd continued

Fri 25th Jun - If Wed 23rd is not still continuing; Come home.

That's that then... sorted!

Vegas 2010 [update]...

revised travel plans -

Vegas 2010 [update]...

revised travel plans -

Vegas 2010 [update]...

Revised acommmodation plans!!!

Vegas 2010...

that's the first two nights accomodation paid for. My birthday on the Friday, so an extra dollar or two may be required for a couple of glasses of shandy.

The Love-Hate Relationship...

with online poker resumes!!

The first 33 tournaments of the latest master plan -


When the updates cease you'll know it all went horribly wrong.

Xmas No 1??

And the winner is...

The heat was really turned up last night, at the inaugural event for the newly donated 'Pigeons Poker Champion' trophy... the atmosphere was electric... the guy at the bar, doing the crossword, could barely contain himself.

It was a smaller field than usual... of course a lot of people are in Vegas for the final of the WSOP, and Paul was watching the X-Factor... but those that made the journey were held in awe as Rich unveiled the trophy, which he has kindly bought and donated.

Don't remember too much about the tourney... other than my slight mis-read when pushing top pair/shit kicker on an 8-high board, into Rich's pocket Aces. Basically, I think Rich knocked everyone out; and had posed for photos; and had attended the obligatory round of TV interviews; and was back at the table for a few rounds of 'Shut the Box' by about 9.30!

So, 'the trophy' returned to Carterton with it's benefactor, to take pride of place on top of his TV until the next renewal of this [soon to be] legendary event... in two weeks!

Two more late results...

Sunday 10th October, Witney Lakes Resort...

Alan Lake (net +10) bt. Vince Oweka (net +17)

Friday 16th October, Witney Lakes Resort...

Alan Lake (net +14) bt. Steve Peachey (net +27)

Get in there!!!!

The Wheel of [mis]Fortune...

I think this roulette wheel could have sent 'thegame' over the edge, had he been at Dusk Til Dawn last night...


It was real wheel although bets were placed at a video terminal. I was just finishing off my Steak & Cheddar Baguette when I spotted it had come up Red five times in a row. I immediately thought of Paul's eleven failed attempts at his roulette system while we were in Vegas!

The pic is not very clear, but if you click on it and look down the right hand side of the TV screen you can just make out the TEN red numbers since the last black.

Meanwhile, A Late Result...

SHIP IT!!!

Something is bothering me...

To quote a well known blogger and Mob member, "I need answers, Goddammit!"

My questions...

- Which illegal substances was the architect taking when he designed that thing below?
- Which illegal substances were the board of Selfridge's taking when the drawings were presented to them?
- Which illegal substances were the Birmingham City Council Planning department taking when they gave it planning permission?
- Have West Midlands Police investigated any or all of the above?
- If not, which illegal substances are the West Midlands Drugs Squad taking?

You may expect a few more pointless posts over the next couple of days... I need to move that picture down the page, as it's really bothering me every time I open my browser. [I guess I could just set a different homepage?]

WTF???

I spotted this monstrosity in the centre of Birmingham today... best place for it I say!!

Free Star Wars Lego...

http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/deals/discount-voucher-codes#lego

APAT - World Champs, Day 1a

Well, I've managed to swop my day 1 from Saturday to Friday... I'll try to update my chip count at the end of each level -

APAT World Champs...

Well... At the eleventh hour and with help of top bloke Dewi, I have managed to snag me a seat for day 1b of the APAT World Champs, at Dusk til Dawn on Saturday. Rich is playing day 1a, Friday, so I guess our paths won't cross until the final day on Sunday!

A Hertfordshire Mansion...

When trying to keep up with Beckhams just doesn't work!!


I spotted this 'des res' on an estate in Cheshunt this morning... if I'm honest I think I prefer Jack & Vera Duckworth's stone cladding. :-)

Football Grounds...

that I saw on my travels today -

The Hawthorns, The Banks' Stadium, The Britannia Stadium, Villa Park and finally ending up inside The Ricoh Stadium, where I had a treadmill and a rowing machine to repair.

An uncomfortable start to the day...

First job today was in Stoke Newington, between Goonertown and Yidville... it left me feeling very queasy and unclean. I've been in the shower for an hour and been scrubbed all over with carbolic soap, I'm feeling a little better but it may a couple of days before I'm completely over it!!

The Mayor of Doncaster...

I heard Peter Davies, the new (2 months'ish) Mayor of Doncaster, being interviewed on the radio earlier today... what a breath of fresh air. He should be held up as the template for all local [and national for that matter] government officials.

Mr Davies... Sir, I salute you.

A Sad Day...

http://www.allvegaspoker.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=8771&start=0&st=0&sk=t&sd=a

Whatever will we do with our night's if the 'Pigeons Pokerers' ever get to Vegas??

It's been a while, but....

..... no, still nothing to say!

Ah, other than well done Jeff Lisandro. :-)

It's APAT Time Again...

So, it's off to Welsh Wales for me and Rich tomorrow, isn't it... back to the land of few vowels, coal dust amd nervous sheep for a crack at the APAT Welsh Amatuer Poker Championships, in Cardiff. If anyone is even remotely interested it may be possible to follow my progress by keeping an eye on the graph below... if I can be bothered (stay sober enough) to text in the updates!

Don't miss out...

On this weeks money-spinning oppurtunity, 12/1 readily available. This weeks [un]lucky bookmaker is BoyleSports, from whom I shall be looking forward to a four-figure return! I shall then use my free matching bet to extract more moulah from them next week... aint life grand?

Bugger...

She finished 2nd... never mind, 175% ROI for the place! She'll be right.

Isn't She Lovely...

Isn't She Wonderful...



One more good round needed... c'mon, ONE [more] TIME!!!

That's all.

Keep The Faith - Conclusion...

Was There Ever Any Doubt?

Keep The Faith - Update...

After two woeful (relatively speaking!) rounds of golf JYS has finally put in a performance that we know she's capable of... a six-under, 66 third round puts her nicely in the top ten, T6 with four others. A win is out of the question but a decent last round should get her into the top five and give me a 100% return on my investment.

You can tell what a novice sports bettor I am... my bet was without the favourite, Lorena Ochoa, but I'm not sure how it works if Lorena Ochoa finishes above our girl but doesn't win, would I still get paid for 6th place? Also if E/W pays 5 places does that include ties or do they have some sort of count-back to seperate ties?

Keep The Faith...

Yeeee-Haaaaaa!!!

Well, that didn't take long did it? Finally, Step 3 seems like a distant memory, I am now the proud holder of a $215 Step 4 ticket! :-)

Now it's decision time... PokerStars have changed the structure of the steps process slightly and I can now use this ticket to carry on into a Step 4 SnG or to enter any $215 MTT. So do I press on and try to go through Step 4, Step 5 and Step 6, to try for the ultimate prize - a WSOP ME package; Or do jump out now and take a shot at a $215 MTT... hmmmm?

I will give it some thought over the next few days, for now I'm just glad I don't have to listen to Sonny & Cher at 6:00 am tomorrow morning.

I Assume This Means West Ham Win 3-0??

Today's 'can't lose' recommendations include 2 pts @ 2.22, over 2.5 goals, West Ham v Man City... COME ON YOU IRONS!!! Phew, I'm glad it wasn't LAY West Ham. The other is 1 pt @ 3.4, Birmingham to win.

I'm on at 2.32 and 3.85 respectively.

And an update on my £5 e/w, JYS to win in Thailand... she didn't, nor did she make the top 5. Bugger! It seems she has forgotten how to putt.

They Say Our Love Wont Pay The Rent...

Yes... still playing Step 3!!!

My Cunning Plan Has...

a serious flaw!!! :-(

I missed out on about £11 of profit last night... and now, because I was playing golf and missed the tips, lost out on another £12'ish today! That first £Million is going to take a bit longer at this rate.

I Have A Cunning Plan...

This time next year I fully expect to be a miwllyanaire... unless I loose my £20 bankroll in the next few days!!

My cunning plan is to blindly follow someone else's wagering recommendations, someone I should point out, who is on a super run at the moment. I got off to a great start last night, backing Hull, £6 @ 2.38. Although I did bottle it with 90mins played, when Sheff Utd won a corner, and gave up 67p of profit by laying them off at 1.08, to ensure a profit of £7.50'ish.

So, after commission my initial £20 has increased to £27.23.

My source recomended 2pts Doncaster Rovers (v Derby) @ 2.9 for tonight... unfortunately, I didn't spot the tip until the game had started and there was no in-running market for the game. Doncaster Rovers won 2-1... Bollocks!!!

Not Really A Tip...

Merely bringing to the attention of my loyal reader, that JYS is available at a big price for this weeks Honda LPGA, in Thailand. It has to be said that she hasn't exactly hit the ground running in 2009, she missed the cut in her last event! However, 16/1 is surely too big... so I've 'lumped on' and look forward to spending the fruits of my £5 E/W investment.

Super Sunday...

Local boy comes good... I only went and followed up my morning golfing success by taking down the Pigeons game that night. Get in there!!!

And Now Some Good News...

I claimed my first podium finish in a golf tournament this morning... taking 3rd place (just 1 point behind 2nd!!) in the monthly Golf Matters competition at Witney Lakes Golf Club. :-)

I had to turn down the prize money and sponsorship offer from TaylorMade, as I don't want to give up my amatuer status!

It's 6:00 am... Sonny & Cher Are On The Radio...

And I'm still playing that fucking step 3 SnG!!!!

Phill Hellmuth - Legend In His Own Mind...

This was Phill's exit interview, after finishing 6th of 6 in Heat 7 of the Party Poker Premier League III... Yes Phill, you really out-played them!!

Groundhog Day...

I am begining to know just how Phil Connors felt during his visit to Punxsutawney, PA, in 1993!!!

I have now been playing a Step 3 SnG (on Stars) every night since Feb 2nd!! I accumulate a few chips and then get cold decked in 3rd, 4th or 5th place... rinse, repeat... when will it all end??

In other news... I went to Asper's in Northampton last Saturday night, with Rich and got drawn in the seat next to him, ffs! I finished in 12th place, waaay out of the money. More details, more eloquently put, on Rich's blog - HERE.

Oh, and my knee is feeling a bit better and I've started hitting a few balls [gingerly!]. Thanks for all the 'get well soon' cards.

Priceless...

Shock News From The Pigeons...

The 'Mob' take 1st and 2nd places!!

A couple of early accidents, agianst Tim and 'new boy' Paul, saw Little Dick down to around 3k chips early doors... but he somehow managed to shut out the voices of Gus and Annette, and with Dan Harrington's guidance managed to manouvere his way to heads-up aginst yours truly. Rich was aided somewhat by Tim, who re-shoved over Rich's pre-flop all-in with ATs... Rich had AJ, it held up, back over starting stack [just] for the first time in three tournamnts in two days, much celebration!!

We were relatively deep into the tournament (150/300) before there were any eliminations (To be fair, Steve v3 wasn't playing) and then, like buses, two come along at once! 'New boy' Paul had open limped from the CO, BTN folded, I made-up from the SB with the monster T8o and Tim checked his option... the flop came 679 rainbow... that'll do nicely... knowing that Tim is prone to make wild bluffs at pots occaisionally and having seen Paul over-vale (IMO) some hands earlier, I decide on the slow-play strategy and check the flop... check, check behind... a 6 on the turn, check, check, check.

Bugger have I left it too late to get any money in the pot? The river is a 3 and I bet 550 into a 900 pot... Tim min-raises to 1100 and Paul re-raises to 2500!! Now, the paired board is a slight concern, but I have them both covered so I decide to get one or both of them all-in... to my suprise they both insta-call... now I'm even more worried about the paired board! But all was well... Tim had 45, for a rivered 'sucker' straight and Paul had J6. My straight is good and I'm chip-leader. "Two seats on Table 1" would have been the cry; if we had more than one table!

Steve v2 (Peachey) was next to fall, I forget the actual details... he was soon followed by Joy, who was obviously feeling sorry for Rich, when she re-raised all-in with QT... Rich made a crying call and his AJ held-up. We were down to three, bubble time! Rich then removed Steve v1 from the equation when his AK improved on the flop to beat Steve's QQ.

Just two hands into the heads-up... Rich limps, I suspect there is good chance this is quite a strong hand and push with AQs... Rich beats me into the pot, but is a little less enthusiastic when the cards are turned over, he has AJo. Well, Rich had about two chips more than me, so the outcome was never in doubt really... J on the flop... The End.

APAT UK Champs - Day 1 Chips...

Today I shall mostly be playing in the APAT UK Champs, at the Grosvenor Walsall, in a drug induced daze that will probably see me playing with gay abandon... chips everywhere! I probably should point out that the drugs are painkillers and anti-inflamatorys... see, I had a slight accident during a golf lesson yesterday and somehow dislocated something in my knee - Gee, dat smarts!!

If anyone is interested, you can keep track of my dwindling chip stack. I will try and update at the end of each level, until they're all gone or the Guinness and the painkillers get the better of me.

What Made Great Britain Great...

Illustrated through Tribal Dances from around the world -

North American Indian

African Zulu

Polynesian Haka

English Morris - wtf!!!

Good Old Absolute Poker...

Will this be the start of a new era in my Poker journey...

Hi Alan,

$10 FREE

To welcome you back to Absolute Poker, we’ve credited your account with $10 – ABSOLUTELY FREE.

Absolute Poker has:

- The fastest payment processing in the business. If you’ve won it and you want it, it’s yours.
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- Players with 'SuperUser' accounts who can see everybody's cards!!!

No Strings. No Catch. Just Cash

What you do with your free cash, is up to you: Try a tournament. Take it to the tables. It’s Your Call.

What are you waiting for? All you have to do is play.

Pimp My Blog...

As you can see... I've been busy trying to be a smartass and posh the blog up a bit. No easy job, trust me, for an ageing brain like mine!! Anyway, I had a go, and I quite like it.

On the steps front, I now have one step 3 and one step 2 ticket... I had to invest a further $15 in step 1 buy-ins to get there. I've been giving the $25NL 6-max cash a bash on Boss... same old shit* - different site!!! Somehow though I have managed to show a small, but steady profit.

Me and Dickus Minimus will be off to Walsall bright and early Saturday lunchtime, to take part in the £75 APAT UK Amatuer Poker Champs. The Grosvenor Walsall was site of my finest hour in live APAT competition... This time last year, a creditable 18th of 201, for the princely sum of £400 of your English pounds. Ah, those were the days... a pound was worth a pound and the best part of two bucks!

If any of 'The Pigeons' stalwarts are reading this, fear not... the odds are very much against Rich and/or myself still being at the final table by 6.00pm Sunday evening, we will almost certainly be back for the real poker challenge by 7.30pm.

*'Same old shit' is defined as... the usual mix [for me, anyway] of ridiculous bad-beats and idiotic attempts to bluff nits off of the nuts!

Why Do I bother...

$25NL 6-max Cash on Stars, KK OTB...

Whilst I accept that calling the Turn Check/Shove may not be the optimal play... surely I didn't deserve that???

Steps Re-Visited...

Well, I am returning to online poker with a re-newed enthusiasm... albeit with a smaller bankroll!!! :-(

I've got a few $s on Stars, with which I am going to take a stab at the 'Steps' route to fame and fortune. It took me three attempts to get past Step 1 ($7.50 SnGs)... one of those was a first hand debacle with QQ vs AA, all-in on a Q high flop with, of course, the obligatory A on the river.

Anyway... when I did eventually get to Step 2 ($27 SnG), I noticed that I already had a Step 2 ticket from a previous life... Yippee, bonus! :-) Well, that was yesterday, after four tournies this morning I now have just one Step 3 ($82 SnG) ticket. I should add this was with no further cash investment.

It is at Step 3 (and beyond) that I start to move out of my comfort zone. I am perfectly happy playing SnGs upto the $30 mark, the $25s on Blue Square a few years ago were where I played all the time and made some pretty good money... of course the game has changed a lot since then. :-(

I may save the Step 3 ticket for a day or two and try and win another 1 or 2 as back-ups... I seem be more comfortable with knowledge that if disaster strikes I don't have to go right back to the beginning immediately.

I've also got a few bob in Blue Square, which I will probably just keep for playing a few APAT events... God I hate iPoker... and yesterday I put €50 in a Boss Media skin, with 30% rakeback, I figure if Teresa can keep winning consistently on Virgin then there's a chance for me???

So, there we have it, I will try and find something of interest to update this blog with a little more frequently... if the updates don't materialize, well, you'll know it's not going too well.

Do you currently play on iPoker?

Then why not give blonde poker a go?

The iPoker network don't allow their sites to offer 'rakeback', but blonde poker do operate a 'Loyalty Scheme'... essentially,if you rake >$100 in a calendar month then they will pay a 'loyalty bonus' equal to 30% of your rake.


None of these blonde poker links are 'affiliate' links... I get nuttin' if you decide to play there, you'll just be helping out those good folks at blonde, who have happened upon hard times just now.

Hot Tip... Get on quick, if you can...

If anyone spots a firm making a book on Jack And The Beanstalk, at the Apollo... let me know.

I'm looking to lay the Giant!!

Aspers revisited cont...

Posted by Rich...

Aspers Revisited...

Well me an' Rich went back to Aspers, Northampton, on Sunday afternoon, for their £10 + 1 re-buy + 1 re-buy/add-on. A dissappointing field of just 22 had even more dissappointing 24 re-buys/add-ons, giving a prize pool of just £460 to be split amongst the top four places.

We both made the final table... and down to the last 7, Rich pushes from the cut-off on my big-blind... the button folds quickly and the SB dwells-up... I'm hoping he is going to call / push and I could fold my AK... but alas, he folds and I make a reluctant call... Rich has AQ and about 1 chip more than me, so the outcome was never in doubt!!! And there she was, Queen straight out there on the flop!!!

Never mind Rich now has a decent stack and I've got 10% of him... he was out in 6th!!!

This is uncanny...

After spending 10 mins explaining to Steve v3 that calling all-in on the river, on a 995-J-T board, with pocket twos (even though it was the best hand!!) is not terriblely good poker... "But I've got two pairs!"... "No Steve, you have a pair of twos, the only thing you can beat is a stone cold bluff!!"

And then this happens -

http://www.apat.com/forum/index.php?topic=2500.0

- and it's seen to be 'gr8888888 poker'... I just hope Steve doesn't join APAT and read it.

Arise Sir Knight...

Aspers Casino, Northampton, Last Night...

++ LATE [POKER] RESULT ++

I've played so little poker in the last month or so that it hasn't been worth commenting on... and I almost forgot to mention the bit that was!!

So anyway, it was it Chritmas Eve and I was having a browse through the new posts on the blonde forum... an old adversary from the Tribecca days on Blue Square, then known as PiratePab (aka Paul Foltyn, aka Paolo69 on Stars), was offering to stake 5 random folks into the $55 Daily Eighty Grand tourney on Stars. I put my name forward and was selected... result #1.

To cut a 5 1/2 hour story short I came 24th of 1314 for the princely sum of $272... $108 profit after shipping the buy-in and 50% of the remainder back to Pab... Thankyou Sir for the oppurtunity, a shame I couldn't have taken down the $14k+ first prize!!!